Do Normal People Ever Go To The Library?

Here are the top five library stories for this week. (In no particular order.)

1. One man came in and asked where a phone was. We told him where a couple of them were. He said he didn't have any money, wanted to use our phone. It's always a mistake when we let a patron use our phone, so we said no. Then he said "I really need to call someone and let them know that I am no longer a hostage."

2. A teenage girl asked if we could put her on a computer. We asked for her library card - she didn't have it. We then asked for picture id - again a no. She told us that she really needed to get on a computer. She had two companions with her, of a similar age, and we asked if any of them had a library card or picture id. Not surprisingly they did not. We told her our policy was that no picture id, no computer access. She asked if she could give us her social security number. Again we said no, because we don't keep that number in our files. We told her that she'd have to go get her id. Which is when she said "I can't. If I go to where I left it I'll get killed."

3. As I walked into the library I saw a couple of teenage boys sitting at one of the tables with teddy bears. These boys were probably 18+ years old and there were no children around so, my suspicions were aroused. I went and talked to one of my coworkers and asked what it was all about. I asked if he thought there was a drug deal going down. He said that was his thought, as well as several others. Since they were causing no sort of ruckus we couldn't go and find out. It was highly suspicious though.

4. Security came up and asked us to watch a man on a certain computer. They said that they think they saw him looking at pornography, but he switched screens so quickly they couldn't be 100% sure. The weird thing was his fetish, if you will. He was looking at pictures of pornographic nuns.

5. We got a phone call from a lady who said that there was a man angrily slashing a knife in the stairwell to the parking lot outside of the library. We called security. Before they came down another lady reported the same thing, except that she said the man was carving into the wall. When security caught up with him he was very good about dropping his knife and backing away. They told him he could not use or wear his weapon on the property. The man acted like this was news to him and picked up his knife, put it away and left.