You Just Can't Make This Stuff Up

Today was hat day at the library. It was snowing off and on, so it seems everyone felt the need to wear a hat. They came in all different shapes, sizes and colors. This doesn't really have anything to do with my stories, it was just an oddity that I noticed and enjoyed!

Story 1:

A man came to the desk today and asked me where computer 1AA was. I told him it was one of the four computers facing the windows. He repeats his question, then follows it up with saying that he had looked all over and couldn't find it. So, I just decide to walk him back there since he already seems to be having trouble. I kick the kid who was sitting in front of his computer off and then leave the man to his internet quest.

Maybe about 10 minutes later he comes back up saying that he just can't seem to get a web page to work. I go back there and ask him to show me what he's been doing. He typed in the a user name, a password and then clicks the login button. He then volunteers that he's been trying all sorts of passwords and he just can't get in. So this leads me to ask if he has registered and set up an account with them. He says no, so we click the register button. (Now to register you had to fill in three text fields and then if you wanted to, there were two optional fields you could type in.) I tell him he needs to type in his email address.

He says "But I already have email."
I said "That's correct, I need you to type that address in here."

Then, when that hurdle was over I told him that he needed to type his password in. He asks "Well what password should I use?"
I said "Whatever one you'd like sir."
"Can I use the same one as my email or do I need a different one?"
I told him to choose and then when he was done to click the register button. I then leave, feeling like I've helped out as best as I could.

A little while later he comes up saying that they just won't accept his nickname. Yes, that was one of the optional fields. The other woman I work with then referred him to the technology center to help him out. I mean she almost took him there, she was so helpful.

Maybe a half of an hour later he passes by and my co-worker asks him if he figured it out. To which he replied "No. I just couldn't find where you told me to go."

Yeah, I love working with the idiot patrons in the library. It reminds me of this quote:

"There are no stupid questions, but there sure are a lot of inquisitive idiots out there."

Story 2:

This was related to me by one of the janitors. A patron came up to him and said that there was a naked man in the men's restroom. The janitor tells the patron he'll take care of it and then calls security to help him out. So they all go into the restroom together to find a naked man drinking from a urinal.

Security asks him to please put his clothes on.
To which he replied "But I need a drink."
"We understand that sir, but we need you to put your clothes on. When you're dressed we can show you where a drinking fountain is."

The man puts his clothes on, but adamently refuses to go with them stating "I have my clothes on. I need a drink."
"We understand sir. We'll take you to a drinking fountain."
"I don't want that water. I want the water in here."

The man then turns around and starts drinking from the urinal again. How gross is that!?!