The Culmination

I just want to thank all of you who have written me or talked with me about my date from hell. I have enjoyed all of your stories, concern and advice. It was almost worth it for all that I have learned about you. Hopefully this will be the end of my ranting about it. To end it all I have been given permission to share my sis-in-law, Melissa's email to me about said date. It made me laugh - so hard I started crying. I think it says it all.

"You may wonder what makes me so bold as to judge this guy- well it is simply because he lives in what I like to refer to as "the world." And yes indeed- it is our world as well, planet Earth. So, let's look at this for what it is, a guy, in the world, who has access to a TV and a couch to watch it on. He is 100% aware of how to treat a girl, and yet he chooses not to indulge in the "traditional way" of flattery. I actually really got hung up on the peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I know this is the least of his problems, however I just find it outrageous. I mean there is an order to first dates, why I ask did he not simply give you a can of creamed corn and a spoon- it is the same thing. The only thing that should have drove him to a peanut butter and jelly sandwich-the ONLY-thing, would have been a scenario where you would have previously told him that he could have your body if he would give you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then of course it would make sense (and you probably could have had it a lot sooner). Not even an atom bomb with famine says a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on the first date. I can see it now though, on Sunday he will go to his student ward where there are throngs of girls (you know the kind who make a Sunday dinner and invite guys over, every single Sunday) and he will tell them of his failure and mention the sandwich. There will be a least one girl in the group who will say 'that is sooo cute- I love peanut butter and jelly sandwiches! I hate going out to eat, it's so boring and 'normal'- I wish a guy would do that for me.' Anyways- I can't get passed that for some reason. And then watching MTV? Right there, that indicates porn addiction to me, right off the bat- with at least 90% certainty- I mean he works at Deseret Book, whatever. My advice is that if you ever see him again do this- act shy, go up to him and tell him that you feel really bad about the date. Tell him that you are actually married and just wanted to remember what it was like to be single again. Tell him that you think you owe this to him because he needs to go see his Bishop now, or that your husband is in the parking lot with a gun. Ryan can then enter in and do something alarming and distasteful. A first kiss requires at least lunch at Chilis! I feel better now that I have told you all this. I am really sorry about the whole thing, next time call me and I will get you out of it fast- it is far better for me to lie then for you to suffer."