The Marooned Submarine at the Library

Today was a truly great library day. It's been a while since I've had one of these. We had some interesting encounters and we reminisced about our favorite "library stories." We don't reminisce that often, but the staff has been switched around and we now are on the desk with a different librarian. Oh my goodness! He is so funny! He is in his late 20s/early 30s. He has posed for modeling jobs, so you know he's pretty good looking. He's a very pretty boy. Add to this that he is gay (all the men who work in our area are). Then you will understand that why he has his own fan club. I kid you not! I swear half of the patrons know him by name and some of them wait in line to talk to him. It's just a crack up!

So to start with the stories. A man came up to the desk and says, "Someone stole my library card and their way with it." We start to laugh (I mean come on it's funny!) and he says "it's not funny! I have like $500 in fines on it." We immediately sober up and tell him to work it out with circulation. Then when he is out of range we bust up again. Why would say something in such a humorous way and not expect people to laugh?

Another man came in and asked us about the computer classes that the library hosts. After explaining to him about them I realize that he doesn't even know how to use a computer. So we figure out just what his technology skills were - a big zero. We then ask if we can help him look up something. Rather agitated he says "No. I was just trying to learn how to use a computer so that I can look up the progress of my kidnapped son. He's 26." Then he leaves. We're trying figure this out. Did his 26 year old son get kidnapped? Or did his son get kidnapped and is now 26? What is he expecting to find on the internet? And furthermore, why isn't he working with the police? It's just a puzzle.

One of the things that we do at the welcome desk is to check in brand new books for the browsing library. A lot of these are on hold for someone, so we process the holds. As we are doing this we tend to look through the books. Well today one of these books just jumped out at us. It was a study of the human-robot relationship. I know, it seems pretty normal. Well most of the book talked about intimate relationships between robots and human. Yes, wherever your dirty little mind took you, the book probably went 15 steps further. Oh, it was so weird! Needless to say all of us at the welcome desk placed a hold on it. Just kidding!

Then Carol and I talked about some of our favorite older stories. Some of these I had forgotten and realized that I needed to record them. One day two college age boys came up to the desk and said that there was a lady out in the urban room sitting at a table with all sorts of cards, credit, social security, you name it. They thought that perhaps we should be aware of it. As it turns out, she had like fifty stolen cards. It was rather bizarre because she was rather homeless looking. I mean, if I had that many stolen cards I'd be living it up.

Another day a man came up to the desk and told us that he had lost his submarine and wanted to know if we could help. Without batting an eyelash Carol told him to check with lost and found. He wasn't looking for a toy he was looking for a real submarine. My question isn't what a weird man, it's just more, why did you think your submarine was located at the library in the middle of town?